Alcohol, Substance Abuse, Dependency, and Addiction

Couples Therapy with a focus on Substance Use Concerns or Chemical Dependency

Substance use that leads to substance misuse, periodic binge drinking or physical dependency causes negative side effects and health concerns. Often what brings couples to therapy is the relational damage caused by alcohol abuse. When couples are in conflict and end up in defensive and blaming escalated fights, the trust and security is eroded. Or couples reach out to Janet to address the underlying issues in their relationship after receiving some kind of treatment.

Many factors contribute to increased use of alcohol:

Stress from expanding responsibilities at home or work. Even positive events like a growing family and job promotions can be a factor in increased use.
Pressure to maintain social activity or build social connections.
Using alcohol and drugs as a numbing agent to reduce inner pain and suffering due to losses, crisis and relationship distress.
Narcotics or opioids prescribed for medical conditions or major surgery may result in drug overuse, and unintended physical or emotional dependency.
Genetics and one’s early family environment play a part.
Growing up in a family that coped with problems by binge drinking has an impact.

Finding the Best Plan for You: Moderation Management vs. Abstinence

Not all drinking problems are the same, and there are more than one way to treat substance abuse.

For some, moderation of alcohol is an option. Choosing to moderately and responsibly drink is a valid option best for some problem drinkers.
Sometimes a plan to cut back; and thereby reduce the harmful effects of alcohol is the best alternative.
For others, stopping completely is necessary. Those who begin recovery in 12-step and other support groups seek to abstain completely.
Janet will work with you to evaluate the best approach for you.

EFT and Substance Use Couples Therapy

Couples therapy with a CADC and EFT specialist helps couples begin to look at how substance use is a factor in their relationship distress. Couples therapy can be a first step when a couple is not on the same page about how substance use is impacting their relationship, or when fights get escalated and result in yelling, arguing and blaming and are not resolved.

Once recovery has been established over a period of weeks or months, couples are more able to focus on each other and improving their relationship. The damage often involves repairing the loss of trust and security caused by compulsive behavior and addiction. Often individual recovery efforts are not sufficient to address and resolve relationship distress. Couples Therapy with an EFT therapist and CADC specialist provides a safe and supportive environment to repair the loss of connection experienced in active addiction.

“You were not there for me when you were drinking, and now you spend all your time with recovery people and all your energy in meetings.”
“I’m still walking on eggshells every time I come home; seeing how you are still mad at me, even though I’m working really hard on my recovery”.

Addiction Focused Couples Therapy

Substance use often begins as an attempt to find relief from stressful experiences, painful emotions or losses. While seemingly helpful in the short term, addiction leaves both partners feeling alone, misunderstood, and unsupported.

The cycle of active addiction results in partners feeling rejected, abandoned, or blamed and then left to cope alone and isolated from each other. Often individual recovery is not sufficient to fully repair the damage to a couples’ bond. When triggers continue to evoke highly reactive and defensive conflict and angry and hurt feelings from the past are re-opened repetitively, couples therapy is a helpful next step.

Janet Voss works with couples in recovery to understand and repair the injuries to the security and closeness in their relationship.

Please call or email to schedule a brief phone consultation and to address any questions you may have about your specific concerns. If it would help to chat, please contact Janet Voss today.

Symptoms of an Alcohol Problem or Abuse

Decreasing ability to limit or control the amount you drink
Inability to predict with 100% accuracy when and how much you will drink
Increasing tolerance that requires you drink in larger quantities to feel the same effect
A strong pull or compulsion to drink that feels like a “need” and causes you to regularly plan your next drinking episode
Lapses in recall or memory of events while drinking – “blacking out” or having partial recall of events
Drinking in secret or hiding your drinking
Keeping alcohol in unusual places – the laundry room, bathroom, your car, your desk at work, the garage
Having a string of negative consequences from drinking; relationship struggles, financial, legal or employment issues due to drinking patterns.